I am listing below the principles of parenting. There are 10, so I’m breaking them up, and focusing on a couple at a time. All we can do is keep these in mind and aim to do our best, (remember – increase consciousness, decrease reactivity). Here they are:
- Children do best when their emotional needs are met
Though it can be exhausting, our job as parents is to meet our kids’ needs. You know your children well and know what they need. When you witness your child in need, help them work through whatever it is that is going on for them. When you meet the need, the need goes away. Kids feel secure when their parents take the time to teach them how to calm down and self-soothe.
- All children need support, safety, and structure
Be there for your kids and have their back. Support their interests, their strengths, and their struggles. Create physical and emotional safety in your home. Manage stress and reactivity, and make sure every family member is taking care of themselves. Kids need boundaries, routine, and predictability. Be consistent in demonstrating what is ok and not ok and expectations.
- Children have different needs at different stages of development
Ill say this again because it’s important: meet the need and the need goes away. Hang in there when your child is having a hard time. It’s hard, but it’s temporary. Kids work through issues, with the support of their parents. Ideally, when children successfully move through each stage of development with their needs met, they become healthy individuals and reach their full potential. For example, a baby in the attachment stage (0-18 months) needs their parent to respond in a timely, consistent, and warm manner. Though it’s definitely not possible to do this 100% of time, no matter how hard you try, when you do your best, your baby is left with a greater capacity to trust and a sense of emotional security. Trust and security, I would say, are pretty important, as it’s the basis for a healthy relationship!
Think about these first three, how you are applying these with your family, and any changes you would like to make. The rest of the parenting principles will be continued in the next post. #imagoparent #consc