Relationships are hard work! While we should aim to be KIND to our partners at all times, we should also be mindful of ways to not behave. After studying marriages for 16 years, relationship expert John Gottman identified that the above four communication habits in a relationship predict future divorce with amazing accuracy. If you are experiencing even one of these on a regular basis in your relationship, therapy would be beneficial to prevent the pain and stress that come with letting it go unchecked.
John Gottman’s research shows that the “Four Horseman of the Apocalypse” are predictors for relationships ending:
- Criticism: negativity about your partner’s character
- Contempt: sarcasm, cynicism, name-calling, eye-rolling, & mockery
- Defensiveness: blaming & attacking your partner
- Stonewalling: tuning out, disengaging from, & avoiding your partner
So, if you are doing any or all of these on the regular, cut it out! This may be a strong sign that it’s time to seek counselling. Remember – Therapy is cheaper and less painful than getting divorced.